dostoevskydr
21st April 2006, 04:04 AM
1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I knowI'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton
2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong
3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner
4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing'em. - Sue Grafton
8. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne Barr
9. I think, therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead
10. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler
11. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
12. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner
13. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher
14. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinhem
15. Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Glori Steinhem
16. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli
17. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. - Baroness Edith Summerskill
18. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee
19. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong
3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner
4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing'em. - Sue Grafton
8. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne Barr
9. I think, therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead
10. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler
11. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
12. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner
13. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher
14. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinhem
15. Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Glori Steinhem
16. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli
17. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. - Baroness Edith Summerskill
18. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee
19. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor